


Distance and Excuses

by renaa_rooo



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Hurt Michael, Long-Distance Relationship, Michael-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:19:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7852324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaa_rooo/pseuds/renaa_rooo





	Distance and Excuses

Woke up hella late. Was running up the stairs to class and ate shit. Lol @ my life today. Have a great show tonight rock star. X. 

You quickly pressed send on the text to your boyfriend Michael. He was on the other side of the world again today, but that was nothing new. You had been dating for almost a year now so the constant travel and limited communication was something you’d grown used to. Surprisingly though the night before you had both actually had time to Skype each other. Of course for you it was actually four in the morning when this conversation happened for him it was noon. You didn’t mind though, this kind of stuff, it came with the territory of dating a musician, you knew that when you got into this relationship. The long nights and brief conversations made you really cherish the moments when you got to be with each other. Or the moments like last night where you actually got to talk to each other for longer than ten minutes. Michael had felt horrible that you were up so late knowing you had school and work the next day, but by the end of your call you could tell the guilt was long forgotten, or at least you had thought. 

God, I’m so sorry for keeping you up and making you late…We need to talk. Call me when you are free.

You were shocked at the seriousness of the text message. Usually if you told Mike you tripped or did something embarrassing he would be sure to make fun of you for it. Never did you think you had ever received a message that didn’t have a joke or inappropriate innuendo in it from him. 

No one made me late, but myself. Don’t fret Mikey. I’ll call you when my class is out. 

You couldn’t stop the nervous feeling that was bubbling inside you. You did not like how this was going. Shaking your head you pushed your phone down deep into your bag and entered your class readily accepting the distraction.

***

Never in your life had you raced out of a classroom so quickly, but Michael really had you nervous. The time spent listening to your professor lecture served as the worst distraction ever. You could not stop your mind from wandering back to Mike. Wondering what the hell was going on. You made it outside and sat down on a bench not wanting to wait to get to your car to call him. You dialed the familiar number and waited, holding your breath as the phone rang.

“(Y/N).” He answered, his voice was soft, guarded. 

“Mikey, god you had me so worried. Its good to hear your voice and to hear everything is okay,” Your words came out in one big breath. 

“Everything isn’t okay. Not between us. They can’t be, not when I am always traveling like this.” His words took you by surprise.

“Wait wha-”

“I can’t do this anymore, (Y/N). I can’t do this to you. You were late today because of me. Because I made you stay up and talk to me all night. Its unfair to you,” He confessed. 

“Wait this is because I was late today? Michael its one class and one day. It’s not that big of a deal. I’m not gonna get kicked out of school because of one tardy,” You replied in disbelief. 

“No,” he huffed in frustration. “This isn’t just about today. I can’t make you put your life on hold for me. I can’t have you waiting around for me. Waiting around for a day when I can come visit you and hug you and love you like a boy friend is supposed to. I don’t know when that day will come and when it does, when I get that one measly day off is that going to be enough to make up for months of missed time? You deserve someone who can treat you like the princess you are.”

“Are you kidding me, Michael? Please tell me this is some sick joke the boys put you up to,” his silence made you push on. “Why do you think you get to make these decisions for me? I knew our relationship was going to be a little unorthodox when I agreed to go out with you. Sure, our relationship takes a little more work than the average one, but that just makes me appreciate you so much more. I am not going to give up on you over some distance Michael. I love you.” Your pleas came out shaky, you were so afraid.

“I just…I just can’t do this to yo-”

“Stop! Stop using me as an excuse Michael! I told you I am all in. I am in this relationship one hundred and ten percent. If you aren’t then fucking buck up and tell me. Don’t try to twist this on me, like I don’t want this, because I do. I want you more than anything. Please don’t do this,” You voice was raw with emotion. Tears flowing freely down your cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry,” His voice was barely audible, then the line went dead. 

Your phone slipped from your hand clattering loudly onto the floor next to you. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The boy you loved so much was no longer yours and there was nothing you could do to change that. 

Miles away Michael was sitting inside the hotel room in some city he couldn’t remember the name of, staring at his shaking hands and all he could think was;

What the fuck did I just do..

//

42 days. It had been 42 days since Michael broke things off with (Y/N). He lay on the couch staring at the ceiling of the dressing room wondering when the day would come when he didn’t feel like shit for breaking her heart. When he didn’t reach for his phone to text her every time Calum did something stupid that made him laugh or when he met a fan that reminded him of her. 42 days has passed and he wanted to know when was the day where he finally didn’t miss her with every fiber of his being? He now thought that day would never come. Hell, he should have known that when he made the dumbass decision to break up with her. What the hell was the reason for that anyway? Oh, yeah some bullshit about not wanting to hold her back. He dragged his hands down his face in frustration. God, he was such an idiot. The truth was, he was afraid. Afraid at how fast he fell for her. Afraid at how much he was in love with her. Afraid that when he went home to her he would never want to leave her side again. He was a coward, so instead of facing it straight on, he ran. He cowered away and broke both their hearts in the process. 

“Michael!! Come help me!” Lukes voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He let his head look to the side to see what Luke wanted. Michael was met with the sight of his three best friends playing a vigorous game of ‘don’t let the balloon touch the ground.’ He let out a small chuckle and joined the game, knowing he needed a good laugh. 15 minutes into the game Calums phone let out a loud ring interrupting Luke and Michaels current winning streak. Calum grabbed his phone looking down at the screen to see who was calling.

“Oh, time out guys. I got to take this,” He said waving them off and lifting his phone to his ear. He started to make his way out of the room so as to not be heard, but Michael caught the beginnings of the conversation.

“Hey Lala whats up?” Michaels fist clenched at the cute nickname. He knew exactly who Calum was talking to. He didn’t even need to hear the nickname to know. The boys had been doing this for 42 days now; sneaking into the other room whenever they were on the phone with (Y/N). He should have guessed that they would have continued talking to her, she was all their friends before they started dating. Nevertheless, his heart broke a little more every time they spoke to her; every time she called them instead of him to laugh or tell secrets or talk about her day. It infuriated him that they thought they were being sly, that he didn’t know who they were talking to. However, that didn’t compare to the anger he harbored for them knowing things about (Y/N) that he did not. How they were all in the loop on what was going on in her life and he wasn’t. He was the only one to blame too. That really hurt knowing this whole situation was his fault. 

“I’m gonna get something to drink,” Michael said stiffly making his way over to the other side of the room, away from the boys. He needed to clear his head of (Y/N). He let out a dry chuckle at that thought as he opened up the mini fridge pulling out a water. There was no getting rid of her. She was like the most enticing drug he had ever tried. He was addicted. Now that she was in his system no amount of time, tears, anger, or other women could flush her out. He turned around seeing Calum had joined Luke and Ashton, they stood in a little circle whispering to each other. 

“What are you whispering about,” Michael said walking back over to their little huddle, taking a big swig of water. 

“Nothing,” They all responded in unison, heads snapping up at him. He knew they were lying and he was sick of it.

“Okay. Calum who was that on the phone,” He questioned. 

“Uh no one.”

“Really? So you just had a conversation with no one? Mmm?” Michael responded letting his annoyance show through his voice.

“It was just mum. That’s all Mike,” Calum said, giving a light shrug of his shoulders.

“Right. Just tell me, since when did you call your mum Lala? I’m not a fucking idiot you guys. I know every time you sneak away from me or have hushed conversations over the phone that you are talking to her. I know you still talk to her. You don’t have to treat me like a child. I can understand that you all still talk. OKAY?” He was pissed. Not at the boys, at how he so obviously couldn’t handle the fact that she confided in them. He was sick of not knowing. “So tell me what did (Y/N) have to say?” His heart skipped a beat at her name, not having actually spoke that word in so long. The boys just stared back at him not sure what to do. He was like a ticking time bomb and they didn’t want to set it off. 

“Come on. Don’t just stand there. Lay it on me, what did she say?” 

“She was really excited. You know that promotion she kept saying there was no way she was going to get? Well, she just got a call to inform her that she did in fact get the promotion. She starts her new position Monday.” Calum said softly. 

“Wow, that’s great. I told her she just had to be patient and they would get back to her. That they would be idiots not to put her in charge,” Michael said, remembering the conversation they had had the night before he screwed it all up. The night he got scared about the future. The night he had gotten so frightened at the realization he wanted her to be his future. The night he realized she was the one. The night he didn’t know what to do about those overwhelming feelings.

“Mike just call her. I’m sure she will be happy to hear your voice,” Ashton said, he couldn’t handle seeing his friend in this much pain. 

“No, I’m sure she is much better off,” Michael said shaking his head.

“Trust us. We’ve been talking to her. It will do her some good to talk to you,” Calum said. Michael just shrugged in response, not wanting to talk about it anymore fearful that tears may start rolling down his cheeks. 

“I’m just gonna uh go for a walk. Get some air,” he said quickly letting himself out of the room. His best friends staring at his retreating frame, all three hoping that he could work these things out because seeing Michael so down was disheartening. 

Michael lost count of how many corners he turned until he finally stopped walking. He was some where deep into the arena they would be performing in later that night, he was very alone just what he wanted. Slowly he pulled out his phone and pulled up (Y/N)’s contact. He admired the picture he had set for her. He looked at her smiling in that picture with those kind eyes that made him fall for her and he knew he had to win her back. He had to gather up the courage to confess to her all the things he was afraid to admit to himself. The loud ringing filled his ear and he prayed, prayed to what ever god that was listening that she would pick up the phone. That she wouldn’t see his name light up her screen, scoff and throw it back down. That she wouldn’t pick up the phone, so angry with him, just to tell him to fuck off. That she wouldn’t pick up the phone so heartbroken that she wouldn’t want to get back in the relationship with him. The phone stopped ringing and someone picked up. 

A mans deep voice said, “Hey….Hellooo.. is anyone there?” 

Michael quickly pressed end. Guess he forgot to pray that she wouldn’t have had moved on from him.

//

“Who was that?” You cast a hopeful glance over to your coworker and friend from across the room, who had pulled your phone out of your bag to answer the call. Maybe it was him. Maybe Michael had finally come to his senses and called you. 

“Not sure, they hung up. Must’ve been a wrong number,” He said with a light shrug. 

“Oh, okay,” You said softly returning back to relabeling the books that were stacked on the table in front of you. Silence fell back over the big room, the only noise was Nate walking in and out of the room moving boxes of books to their appropriate places. You worked in a library which everyone thought was weird and boring, but you cherished every moment you could be in the peaceful building. Being surrounded by pages and pages filed with wild courageous characters who embark on amazing journeys was something that filled your heart with so much joy. You loved being able to help people find the perfect book for them and then hearing them tell you all their thoughts about the events that took place weeks later when they returned the book to you. You lived for the escape from reality reading gave you. Not many people understood that, but Michael always did. He would always listen to you rant and rave about what was going on in the books you were reading. Never scoffing at your long winded theories and arguments. He just got you, not just with this, but in almost every aspect of your life. He understood you. That’s why you couldn’t understand where it all went wrong. You couldn’t help but let out a disappointed sigh. The will to not give up on the relationship shrunk a little bit everyday. You hoped that Michael would call you back the day after he broke things off begging for your forgiveness, explaining his grave mistake, but alas that call never came. 

“Oh, sweetheart if he doesn’t realize what he left behind he doesn’t deserve you,” Your head snapped up to be met with Nate’s bright blue eyes looking at you. 

“I wasn’t-”

“I know, I know. You weren’t thinking about Michael and don’t want to talk about it,” He interrupted you softly, he grabbed your hands and pulled you up off your chair into a hug. You let your arms wrap around his slim waist, grateful for some human contact. He placed soft kisses on the top of your head,”I just need you to know that I am here for you and am ready to listen whenever you are ready to talk.” 

“Thank you,” You said, your voice muffled slightly from his tshirt.

“Come on, love lets get out of here. You’ve done more than enough work tonight. I am going to treat you to ice cream to celebrate you now being my boss,” He said releasing you from his hug and grabbing your hand. You chuckled, he always knew how to cheer you up. Plus there was no sense in arguing because Nate wouldn’t take no for an answer so you just slipped your bag over your shoulder and let him pull you to the front exit of the building. A promotion and ice cream really was a perfect way to try and forget your broken heart. Especially when the boy treating you to ice cream was the beauty that Nate was. You looked at him from across the little table inside the ice cream shop and let out an airy sigh. 

“Oh Nate won’t you just be my boyfriend already,” You said scooping another spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to say that,” He said grabbing your hand and lifting it up to his lips, leaving a light kiss on top your hand. 

“OH shut up,” You said letting out a huge laugh. Nate’s loud laugh joined yours, both of you making a bit of a scene inside the crowded ice cream shop. 

“I’m serious. I am ready to take the role of your boyfriend, but I mean you may have to fight Jordan for my heart. He adores you, but I’m pretty sure he’d kick your ass if you tried to steal his man,” He joked with you. You couldn’t stop smiling, so grateful for this moment, not being able to remember the last time you had had such a genuine laugh.

***

Nate’s efforts to cheer you up Friday night were very much appreciated. It even worked for a few hours. That was until you got back to your empty apartment and were reminded just how alone you were. How now you were separated from the person who held your heart not only physically, but emotionally. The rest of your weekend was spent sulking around your apartment, watching Netflix and burrowing into the heap of blankets on your bed. By the time Sunday rolled around you were finally sick and tired of being sad. There was to be no more missing Michael. You had too many things going great in your life to dwell on the fact that he obviously no longer loved you. You were to start your new position tomorrow, a powerful one at that, school was going fantastic, and you had Nate who was always going to be there for you. It was time to move on, no matter how badly your heart ached at the thought, you had to for your own sanity. Loud pounding coming from your front door pulled you out of your motivational thinking. You rolled out of your bed, curious to who the hell was at your door at this time of night. Making your way to the door you wrapped the end of your jumpers sleeves around your hands, the sweater paws giving you comfort. Swinging the door open your stomach dropped at the sight in front of you, not at all prepared to see this person standing in your doorway.

“Michael.”

//

“Michael, what the hell are you doing here?” You could not believe you were looking right at the boy you had been missing for months. Standing in front of you he looked almost exactly as he had when he left you at the airport at the beginning of the tour, but you could see the subtle differences. The slight bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His chapped red lips reminding you of his rant about always losing his chap sticks on the tour bus. The flannel button up that hung loose on his torso was wrinkled, he’d probably pulled it out of his duffel bag after it had spent who knows how long stuffed in there all rolled up in a ball.

“I know..I..I.I just thought..I don’t know,” He tugged on his hair, now very unsure of himself.

“MIchael, come in. It’s okay. Do the boys know where you are?” You grabbed his hand from his head, stopping him from pulling his hair, interlacing his fingers with yours. You tried to ignore the feeling that spread through your body from his touch, that electric jolt you felt every time you touched him. You guided him towards the living room couch sitting him down, rubbing his hand to calm him. Pulling your phone out of your sweat shirt pocket you sent Calum a quick text to let him know Michael was with you and safe.

“I had this whole plan, this whole freaking speech to win you back. To convince you not to hate me. It was really good, (Y/N). I practiced it on the plane, made the lady next to me listen and now I’m here and I can’t remember a damn word. Not one fucking word. I got one look at your face, that face that I’ve dreamed about seeing and touching and kissing for months now and every sensible thought disappeared from my mind,” He said in frustration, he brought his free hand up to your face to cup your cheek, but dropped it almost immediately in frustration. You didn’t know how to respond, still shell shocked that Michael was sitting there right in front of you.

“Michael, I just..I,” Words couldn’t even form on your lips. You, like Michael, had spent so much time thinking about this moment; when it would be, how would you feel, what would you say. You were so overwhelmed with emotion seeing him here, knowing he still wanted to be with you and you didn’t know what to say.

“Just hear me out, okay?” He took a deep breath, steadied his gaze on your eyes and continued. “I love you. I am so very in love with you and it terrified me. I’m never here for you, I’m always on the road, and I can’t give you the attention you deserve. I was afraid that one day you would wake up and realize that, that you could do so much better than me. So I did one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. I broke up with you before you had the chance to break my heart because it would break my heart having you tell me you didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want to be with me. I…I couldn’t even fathom that. But all I managed to do was hurt you and make myself miserable…God, I was so miserable, (Y/N). I thought I missed you before, but not being able to call you up whenever I wanted to hear your voice or text you dumb pictures that I knew would make you laugh. That killed me… Almost as badly as it killed me to hear a guy answer your phone when I called. The image of another guy making you laugh, kissing you, touching you,” His hands balled into tight fists with anger, his eyes squeezing shut. You laid your hands on top his to relax him and urge him to continue. “I was furious that you had moved on.”

“Well, you broke up with me, Michael. You were the one who said you didn’t want this anymore.”

“I know, I know. Let me finish, baby. Okay? I was mad at you for moving on, but I was really furious at myself because it was my fault. My fault I’d probably lost you to someone else and that’s why I am here now. I jumped on a plane to come here and beg for your forgiveness and for your love because I can’t live without it.”

“Oh, Mikey,” You sighed cupping his jaw, wiping away the few stray tears that fell from his eyes. “I don’t know how you could ever think I would break your heart. I told you before that the distance didn’t matter to me. I told you how much I wanted to be with you. How much I loved you.”

“Loved? Like, past tense? As in you no longer love me?”

“Of course I still love you Michael. Jesus, did you think I could just move on from this so quickly? You affected me and when you left you still affected me. You’re telling me how miserable you were; I was a mess. You left me here wondering what I had done wrong. You had me to believe I did something to make you not love me anymore, that there was something wrong with me,” The look in Michael’s eyes was one of fear, afraid he was too late you win you back, but the thing was he never even lost you. “I love you so much Michael, but please for my sanity never pull this shit again or else I will probably kill you.”

“I’m so sorry. I will never leave you again. I promise,” Those green eyes of his were so bright shining at you. He grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap, your legs straddled his waist. He started peppering kisses all over your face saying “I love you” again and again between each kiss. He wrapped his arms so tightly around you refusing to loosen his grip on you when you tried to wiggle away from him. You let out a giggle at his actions.

“God, you don’t know how much I’ve missed that sound,” He said leaning his forehead against yours.

“I love you, Mikey,” You said not being able to keep the smile off your face.

“I love you so incredibly much, princess.”


End file.
